Victimized

Have you ever felt like you were wronged? That you were truly in the right, but made out to look like the bad guy. You run the situation over and over in your head and reach the same conclusion. You really handled this situation correctly. You over extended yourself to be the better person, but instead of appreciation for all of your efforts. You are met with disdain and contempt. You find someone twisting the story to make you look bad. What do you do?

Maybe you messed up in the past, but you swore to yourself that this time it would be different. However after all of your efforts your are under appreciated, disrespected and maybe even slandered. You find yourself with two options 1) fight for your honor 2)take the high road and deal with the pain inwardly. If you fight back you still look like the bad guy. If you hold it in then anger and resentment builds up within you. It is a catch 22.

What do you do? Choice 1 may not bring closure even if you make a fool out of yourself it may make things worse . Choice 2 is sure to eat you up inside.

Gosh it is so unfair you say to yourself. This is your reward for your efforts.

You are victimized … Which really sucks because maybe you had just recovered from victim syndrome and as soon as you found yourself healing from the past experience you found yourself once more as the victim.

So what do you do to help ease the pain and resentment?
1) Listen to every single angry song you own…(some good ideas are F**K it by Eamon and Kelis Caught out there) feel free to suggest others
2) Go for a run
3) Pray Pray Pray
4) Take a boxing class
5) Get a packet of lined college ruled paper rib it , stab it with pencils, throw it, and just lose control
6) Write poetry about it
7) Talk to the person about how you feel
8) No matter what do not take it out on other people

What are your tricks to deal with anger?

Late Night Call

I was sound asleep. It was 3:54 AM Sunday morning. Suddenly the peace was cut by the soft low rumble of a vibration. I rolled over and saw my phone vibrating on a stack of books nestled on my nightstand. I reached down to instinctively ignore the call when I notice the name on the screen. I answered “Hello” I muttered. “Is everything ok?”… “Yes” the voice on the other line stated. “Why are you calling so late” I asked…The voice states “ I just don’t know what I am doing with my life. I feel so depressed”

The funniest thing about this call is it is not the first one I have received. Nor Is there a single person making this call. I find this phenomena common among my peers. Everyone may not call in the middle of the night, but they are saying the same thing. What am I doing with my life? Am I doing what I always dreamed? Have I met my goals? When did I get so adult?

Have you ever felt this way? Well there is actually a term officially coined for this phase of life called the quarter life crisis. Interestingly enough it is quite common and there have even been books written about it. It is often contrasted to the midlife crisis. Although they do share some common characteristics such as fear, panic, and reevaluation the midlife crisis stems from a decrease in options ,stagnancy, feeling stuck, or looking back and not being happy with choices. The quarter life crisis stems from looking forward and not knowing what to do to reach your goals or even knowing what those goals are. Often it is the realization of one’s own mortality that sparks the quarter life crisis. During the Adolescent phase it is a well known fact that invincibility is characteristic mind set, yet during the twenties that mind set fades and the realization that we all have limited time really sets in. This often can be a spark for the beginning of a crisis.

So if you find yourself going through this right now. My advice to you is 2 steps.
1) Decide what you want to do with your life
2) Do it…You just have to find a way to make it happen. No one will do it for you, and no one has to live with the consequences of putting your hopes and dreams aside except you. My mother always told me “If there is a will there is a way”. I believe it.

Easier said than done I know, but after all what do you have to lose. Life is for the living. Mistakes will happen if you play it safe or not. At least you could live a life of fulfillment, and passion.